I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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