if you like me you must not know who I am
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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