wrigley field is MILF paradise
I want to make a zoo with you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We need a shit load of segways right now
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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