What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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