i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
