He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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