So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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