when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
