I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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