i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
