I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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