The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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