He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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