just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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