your room smells of hookers.
And success
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
