It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
