forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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