we have officially mastered the walk of shame
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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