i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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