Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize