I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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