ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
