I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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