There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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