What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
