38 yer olds are good kisserssss
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
