i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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