It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
