:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize