Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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