PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
