I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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