Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
