it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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