Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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