ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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