Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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