You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
