I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
