Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
