i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
