with your own penis?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
