i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
