3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
