I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
