i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
