But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
