You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
