Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize