one might say we're banned from that church
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
