I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
