Porn is love you can see.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
