ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
