i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
