well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
