So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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