Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
