I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
