you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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