I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
