Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Randomize
