Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
